Here and Queer, by Rowan Ellis, is described as the guide that the author wishes she’d had as a girl. This guide book for queer girls is a sweet, neutral, educational resource for LGBTQ girls, with cute illustrations by Jacky Sheridan. I think this book would be helpful for parents of LGBTQ kids as well.
Many of the reviews by adults note that they wish this had existed when they were children.
Identity, Community & Love
“I… didn’t want to fall into that gloomy trope of queer pain and suffering being all there is to our collective story.” – Rowan Ellis
There are several chapters exploring how to figure yourself out, come out and build community. The advice is kind, practical and refreshingly straightforward.
It explores identity and coming out, with stories from young LGBTQ women about their experiences. Including Hafsa, a queer Muslim woman who, crucially for her, keeps practicing her faith and has found community with other religious LGBTQ Muslims.
The book also discusses prejudices, inluding sexism, and the ways these prejudices intersect. The personal anecdotes are a valuable part of the book, as are the sections about meeting other LGBTQ girls and navigating being queer in a sometimes unkind world.
Bullying
“I was bullied for being a lesbian before I even knew I was gay. I’m not going to lie—that was a wild ride.” – Here & Queer
There was a chapter on bullying, starting with the common experience Ellis had of being bullied for being gay – before she even realised it herself. The chapter contains useful tips for coping, and ways to involve adults to help.
The catalyst for the bullying Ellis experienced was a workshop exercise. A teacher asked “would you stop hanging out with a friend if they were gay”. She was the only one who said no, and endured intense bullying as result.
This was (I think) post Section 28, or else the exercise wouldn’t have happened. However the school failed to intervene.
Ellis instead handled the bullying by building community and looking after her mental health. It can be easy to forget how many adults condoned, even encouraged, that kind of appalling homophobia back then. My friends have kids who are openly out and proud at school, and have boyfriends and girlfriends. That certainly wasn’t the case when I was growing up.
The Book Ban
“PCS is absolutely clear that we oppose the removal of these objects and urges the V&A to reverse this decision.” – Steven Warwick, PCS Culture Group Secretary
The Young V&A recently removed Here and Queer from their book shop. They used the usual pretext for anti-LGBTQ censorship; that the book was ‘inappropriate’ for young readers. Their decision to remove these books and a pro trans poster has been condemned by staff, unions and the museum’s LGBTQIA network.
The Young V&A have repeatedly (and offensively) insisted that their choice to remove two trans inclusive books and a trans inclusive poster (it’s equivalent supporting gay rights was allowed to remain) was correct, because the materials were not ‘appropriate’ for children. When I point blank asked a representative what the V&A found inappropriate about the censored materials, she refused to answer.
Appropriate
The idea that this book was inappropriate for under 14s is just laughable. One of the ‘date’ ideas is a blanket fort for goodness sake. It has won awards; is recommended by Penguin and stocked in the children’s section of Waterstones.
Reading this book reinforced my suspicion that it was removed for political reasons. I fully believe that if Ellis’ book wasn’t inclusive of trans people, it would still be in the Young V&A book shop.
(Especially given some of the other books and authors remaining on their shelves).
One of the anecdotes Ellis recounts is that her school had blocked (age appropriate) LGBTQ websites from their pupils, solely for containing gay and lesbian content. Her school ultimately kept that disgusting, homophobic policy.
That was 16 years ago. It is sad to see that kind of prejudice still around in 2023.
In the End
“A book that should be read, shared, and treasured. Pure queer joy!” – Kirkus Reviews
The personal anecdotes from queer women were a real highlight in the book. I also thought the practical tips – for addressing bullying, building community, safe dating – were great. I’d have liked more from the mental health chapter, but only because I think it’s so important for girls. And I did like the ‘window of tolerance’ metaphor of an overfilled cup.
For older kids, there’s a fantastic chapter on consent and safe sex – both topics often oddly absent from SRE curriculum. Here and Queer ends with a section about queer joy, along with media recommendations, support resources and a glossary. It’s a manual that would be very useful for LGBTQ girls and their parents.
In terms of age appropriateness; in my view, the vast majority of the book is appropriate for 10+. (Although that is of course my subjective opinion). For parents, if you want to avoid the section on sex, it is clearly marked and in the e-book, there is a link so you can skip ahead easily.
Overall I would recommend this book.
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